You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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