I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I believe in your delicious
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
