It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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