He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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