and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
