I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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