At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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