Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
