do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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