After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
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Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
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can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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