but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
