on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
