SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
