he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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