I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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