Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
