Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
