loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
