Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
