that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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