her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
