i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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