We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Small penises have feelings too.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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