Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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