What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
