You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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