you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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