I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
