rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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