I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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