You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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