he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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