I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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