spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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