New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
