i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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