I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
