Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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