At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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