dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
