You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
