I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
