Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
