I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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