i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
