Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Someone signed my nipple.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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