Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Found the puke drawer
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
