my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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