How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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