The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
