Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
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I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
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I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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