I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
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THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
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I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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