I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
