ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
