U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
