so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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