Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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